The New Sailors?
by Holmium
Summary: Zoisite and Kunzite get brought back to life, but there is a drawback. My 3rd KunZoi fanfic.
1. In which Kunzite protests

Hello everyone~ This is my 3rd fanfic about Zoi and Kun and this time, they are going on a stupid adventure~ to the future~ :P Enjoy this nonsense, please~

Kunzite had just finished dying by the hands of his own boomerang. Kunzite, being one of the greatest warriors from a powerful kingdom, died an honorable battle death. And then he turned into bubbles. And also, he floated up to Heaven.

"Kunzite-sama!" Zoisite eagerly greeted his lover.

"Zoisite..." Kunzite whispered. "I'm glad I can finally be with you again.."

"Kunzite-sama..." Zoisite ran to Kunzite and they embraced.

"Greetings." a voice rang out.

"Queen Serenity!" Zoisite and Kunzite were stunned.

"Hey, I remember you from our last adventure! Wasn't the wedding awesome?" Zoisite grinned.

Queen Serenity decided to ignore Zoisite's comment. "Yes. I'm Queen Serenity. And...I have a proposal for you two."

Kunzite turned to face Queen Serenity. "I would love to hear it."

Queen Serenity smiled. "I could send both of you to the future, where you could continue your lives."

Zoisite grinned again. "Did you hear that, Kunzite-sama?"

Queen Serenity's eyebrows furrowed. "Wellllllll...there is kind of a catch. You two have to become Sailor Senshi."

Kunzite's eyes bugged out. "What!" he exclaimed.

Zoisite thought for a moment. "If I was a Senshi once, even though I wasn't a real Senshi, that is, I'm sure I could do it again."

Zoisite turned to Queen Serenity and nodded in agreement. "We'd be happy to!" he said confidently.

"Speak for yourself!" whined Kunzite. "I don't want to!"

Queen Serenity decided to ignore Kunzite this time as she yanked on a lever from out of nowhere. A trapdoor opened in the cloud and Zoisite and Kunzite spiraled down into the time stream. Sailor Pluto was taking a nap or...something and didn't notice what was going on in the time stream.

"Noooooooooo!" screamed Kunzite. But, it was too late. The two continued flying to the future.

"Oh, Kunzite-sama, honestly! It won't be so bad." said Zoisite calmly.

Suddenly, some land and trees and a castle came out of nowhere. Zoisite and Kunzite had a very not-graceful landing. Thump! They ran into the Palace and were instantly knocked out.

~Well! Wasn't that lovely~ XD It was serious for a little bit, but that part needed to be serious~


	2. In which nobody likes the new Sailors

~I wish I had more time to do more writing~ I've been kind of depressed lately, my rival at school is beating me in what seems like everything~ ;_; Oh well, please enjoy this next chapter~

"Hey guys! Look at this!" Neo Queen Serenity shouted. The other four sailors, along with King Endymion, ran to see.

"Wait a minute...are those two.." Sailor Venus trailed off.

"Kunzite!" said Mercury.

"Zoisite!" said Jupiter.

"And they're GIRLS!" gasped Mars.

"Holy cow!" all the sailors chorused.

Zoisite and Kunzite slowly became un-knocked out. Stars and birds circled around their heads, just like in cartoons. Zoisite shook his..uh...her head.

"Kunzite-sama? Where are we?"

"Uh...I guess Crystal Tokyo. Oh my goodness, what happened to my voice!" Kunzite said in an obviously female voice. He then realized that he was now a she and began to panic. Zoisite, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind at all. Now he could cross-dress and nobody would mind.

The sailors were getting restless and they really wanted an explanation, like, now. Neo-Queen Serenity remembered that Kunzite and Zoisite were evil and so she prepared her Moon Wand for attack. Thankfully for our two favorite Sailor Moon characters, Neo Queen Serenity missed them entirely with her attack. Instead, she hit a garbage can in a far off land and a cat screeched, like in cartoons. And also, the Old Queen Serenity appeared to everyone in a hologram.

"Guys, don't worry, they're good now. Actually, they're more than just good, they're your new fellow...Sailor Senshi."

"WHAT!" Everyone's jaw dropped. "ZOISITE AND KUNZITE ARE SAILOR SENSHI!"

Kunzite blinked and frowned. "I don't exactly like it either, you know." she said calmly.

"But they're..."

"Bad guys..."

"They tried to kill me!"

"Are you nuts?"

The Senshi and Endymion too were freaking out and protesting.

Queen Serenity frowned. "You're going to have to accept that they're your fellow senshi. So...Now I will introduce to you..Sailor Sakura and Sailor Yuki."

Instantly, Zoisite and Kunzite began to transform into their new Senshi selves. Zoisite finished first after spinning and twirling through a dense cloud of Sakura petals. She then posed and grinned.

"Sailor...Sakura!" said Zoisite confidently.

Kunzite flew through ice and twirled also.

"Sailor...Yuki!" said Kunzite reluctantly.

Suddenly, a scream was heard from inside the palace.

"That's Chibiusa!" said Neo Queen Serenity. "Your first mission is to see what happened to Chibiusa. Go!"

Sailor Sakura and Sailor Yuki flew off...somehow.


	3. In which there is bad luck

Wow...it really has been a long time, hasn't it? I've been away from this story for far too long, and I apologize~ ^_^; Honestly, I didn't have any ideas for a long time and school/piano got my time~ Well, here it is~ The next chapter~

Well, it was a bad idea for Sailor Yuki and Sailor Sakura to fly off when they obviously had no idea how to fly. They crashed into the ceiling of the Crystal Tokyo palace.

"Oof!" said Sailor Yuki.

"I know, right?" said Sailor Sakura.

Unfortunately, the ceiling was sloped and so they began to slide down it.

Slo-o-o-o-owly.

Even more unfortunately, the ceiling began to slope more and more and they slid faster.

Most unfortunately of all, Crystal Tokyo's palace was GIGANTIC and our two sort-of-sailors had another less-than-smooth landing.

"Kunzite-sama! Er...Yuki! I think I have busted my tailbone!" Sailor Sakura sniffled.

Sailor Yuki shook her head. "Why did you have to land on your bum and not your feet! That ruins tonight's plans COMPLETELY!"

Sailor Sakura frowned. "We're girls now, remember? We can't do...that...at least...not in that way..."

Sailor Yuki laughed. "Ha-ha. Right. I forgot. Don't worry, we're creative. We'll find some way," she said, giving Sakura a suggestive look, "to do our nightly routine."

Giggling, Sailor Sakura fell over on the ground. Suddenly, she sobered and gasped. "What on earth am I giggling for! Giggling! That's very undignified! Aaaaaah!"

"Wait..." said Sailor Yuki, not paying attention to Sakura's rant. "Aren't we supposed to go see what's wrong with Chibi-loser...I mean...Chibi-usa?" (I love puns. Ha ha. ^_^)

"Chibi-loser...that's a good one!"

Once again, Sailor Sakura fell on the ground in a fit of giggles, this time being joined by Sailor Yuki.

Suddenly, our sailors heard an odd sniffing noise coming from behind them.

"Uh...what was that?" asked Sailor Yuki tentatively, ending the giggles.

"Uh..." replied Sailor Sakura with a poker face.

They had come face to face with...well, of all things, a giant anteater.

"Why is there a giant anteater in Crystal Tokyo!" our two sailors chorused.

The anteater? Don't ask~ ^_^' I don't have any idea, either~ Next chapter or two coming tomorrow~


	4. In which anteaters are not bad animals

Sailor Yuki and Sailor Sakura backed up against the walls of the palace, terrified. You would too if you were about to be eaten by a giant anteater.

Suddenly, it began to speak. "Hello!" it greeted with a British accent. (For whatever reason.) "I am Arnold the Anteater and it seems to me that I have misplaced my dinner."

It appeared to be a relatively friendly anteater, so Sailor Yuki, being brave, spoke up.

"Why is a British anteater in Crystal Tokyo?" she asked. "More importantly, have you seen Chibi-Usa?"

Arnold shook his head, giant snout twitching. "What is a Chibi-Usa? Is that some kind of breed of rabbit?"

Yuki and Sakura shared a look. "Sort of…" they said simultaneously.

"Well, I haven't seen any rabbits today. While we're talking about stuff we are missing, have you seen a pest? I eat pests for dinner, you know. This particular pest has pink-colored fur."

Sakura smiled. "Oh! You eat pests! That's really quite nice of you. Sorry, haven't seen it. But good luck in your quest!"

Arnold tipped his hat to the sailors. "Good day to you, my friends. And good luck in finding your Chibi-Usa thing." Then it lumbered off into the distance.

Sailor Yuki brushed her bangs back out of her eyes. "Well! That's a good thing that it was a FRIENDLY anteater!" she said, gratefully.

Sailor Sakura laughed. "Yeah. I hope it finds its pink-haired pest soon!"

Suddenly, they stopped laughing and turned to face each other in shock.

"Pink-haired pest…"

"No, it couldn't be…"

"CHIBI-USA!" they cried simultaneously. "HE'S LOOKING FOR CHIBI-USA! RUN!"

And so, they began to race through the hallways of the Crystal Tokyo Palace, trying their hardest to locate that anteater.


	5. In which jam and pest is offered

"Oh snap…It's going to eat Chibi-Usa!" Sailor Yuki cried.

"Personally, I don't blame it and I would much rather he go ahead and eat her, but then Neo Queen Serenity will kill us! Perhaps literally!" Sailor Sakura managed to wail while running.

"I don't want to die again! I just died about four hours ago!"

Sailor Sakura thought for a moment. "Technically…you died four hours and a thousand years ago."

Sailor Yuki snorted. "Do you want to sleep on the couch tonight?"

"Nooooo! I want to sleep with youuuu!"

"THEN LET'S GO ALREADY!" Yuki screamed.

Sakura, feeling rather inspired, decided to give forth a battle cry.

"STOP THE WEDDING! Er…GET THAT ANTEATER!"

So they hurried off in the general (haha, general) direction of Arnold.

Twenty minutes later, Arnold was found in the kitchen.

"Stop right there!" shouted Sailor Yuki.

"Yeah, what Kunzite…er…Yuki said!"

Arnold pulled his snout out from the refrigerator.

"Top of the morning, my good friends. May I interest you in jam and pest?"

Sailor Sakura frowned. "Can you be a bit more stereotypical, please?"

"What do you mean?" Arnold asked. "So you do want jam and pest?"

Sailor Yuki gasped. "You found the pest! Uh, I mean, Chibi-Usa?"

Arnold nodded. "She was delicious!"

It was true. Arnold had eaten our very own Pest/Chibi-Usa. And a fluffy pink pigtail was sticking out from his mouth just for show.

"I thought you only ate pests!" Sailor Sakura cried.

"Yes. This pink-haired thing IS a pest."

"Neo-Queen Serenity is going to fry our tails!" Sailor Sakura moaned.

"I just died four hours, twenty minutes, and a thousand years ago!" Yuki grimaced, remembering all too well the feel of those boomerangs.

"Well, it really isn't our fault. We were only helping a guest to Crystal Tokyo." For once, Sailor Sakura was being rational. "And what's the worst she can do? Strangle us with a pigtail?"

Sailor Yuki frowned. "For your information, we both were beat up pretty badly when she was Sailor Moon. Well, I made her kill me on purpose, but still…"

Sailor Sakura gasped. "On purpose!"

Yuki nodded. "Yes. I had to make it look like an honorable battle death, but…"

"On purpose!"

"I just told you…"

"But why?"

"Well, to put it frankly, life without you sucked. So it seemed pretty reasonable. And look, Zoi…I mean, Sakura. We're finally together. At last. OOF."

That "oof" came from Sakura attaching herself to Yuki in a tight embrace and knocking the breath out of poor Yuki. Sakura nestled her little nose in Yuki's...uh...well...Yuki had a certain something at Sakura nose level that Kunzite didn't have. Hmm, I wonder what that could be. ^_^'

"I think we should head back to Neo Queen Serenity and receive our punishment." Yuki sighed, reluctantly letting go of Sakura.

"Yeah. I guess."

So they set off to the throne room where Neo Queen Serenity most likely was.


	6. In which fun is had

Well, this is the final chapter of The New Sailors. Yes, it's finally done. ^_^'

"You did WHAT!" Neo Queen Serenity was flabbergasted.

"Uh, your daughter got eaten." said Sailor Yuki ever-so-calmly.

"How did that happen!"

"Loooooooooong story." Sailor Sakura replied.

"I have plenty of time."

"Well," Sakura began, "There was this British anteater and he was polite and he said he was looking for pests for dinner and we were like, okay and then we realized he meant Chibi-Usa so we searched for them and by the time we found him, well, she had already been eaten." Sailor Sakura stopped, out of breath.

"Oh. Well, it honestly wasn't your fault, so I'm not going to punish you."

Sailor Yuki and Sakura breathed in relief.

"And you two are still sailors. Oh, but I have realised Crystal Tokyo needs a new heir." Serenity said. "Endymion, darling?" she called to her husband.

"What, dear?" said King Endymion while running over to his wife.

Serenity proceeded to make googly eyes at Endymion. "We need to get a new heir, baby!" she said.

"Awww yeah!" Endymion pumped his fist in the air. "To the bedroom!"

He ran over to Serenity and carried her newly-wed-style to the bedroom, leaving Yuki and Sakura (who were quite amused) by themselves in the throne room.

Yuki, realizing this, gave Sakura a "look."

"What?" asked Sakura.

"I'm giving you a look. Do you see? We're all alone, have you noticed that?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, we haven't...had fun...in about a thousand years, two weeks, and six hours ago. Or something like that."

"Ohhhhh...I see." Sakura grinned devilishly. "Then how about we make up for lost time?"

In order to leave this story children-appropriate, we're going to end here, okay? ^_^'


End file.
